April 1, 2009

Hey ya’ll, after many months of cussing & discussing the future of Strokers Dallas, Strokers IceHouse & Strokers Ink, I have decided to sell my empire. My wife Susan & I are going to retire to a small village in Cuba. It’s beautiful there. Sue & I can fish all day (she uses a cane pole & I use a spear).

While we’re in Cuba enjoying our retirement, I want to sniff around a little to see if I can get to the bottom of that “Bay of Pigs” incident. Was Castro involved in a cover up? And what about Kennedy, was he banging Marilyn, or not? I’ll figure it out.

Anyway, the new owners are Indian (dot, not feather) & they have many changes in store. First, the place will now be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Second, all their employees will be from anywhere except America. Third, they don’t speak English so ya’ll will have to learn what ever the hell language it is that they speak. Fourth, they will operate a 7-11 out of the front of the shop & a fish market out of the back of the shop. Fifth, they plan on discontinuing the sale of beer & alcohol at Strokers IceHouse & they will replace it with herbal teas & that funky foreign food that makes the place smell funny (you know the smell I’m talking about). Finally, they are starting a new company… Strokers Taxi. They have already bought several 1989 Impalas & the yellow paint is on order (from Glidden I hope).

I made a pretty good deal on the joint, they gave me a 6 pack of Dr. Peppers & a Roger Staubach trading card. In closing, I want to wish them good luck, because they think Strokers is a sex club & I didn’t tell them any different!